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MeetChristians.com / Forums / Humor

No. 0     Original Topic: You know you are Baptist, when...   
By:  CAsandie   Gender: F   Age: 103   on  May 8, 2017 at 10:37 AM   Viewed 2757 times     
You are coming home from Church with a take home box!!!


(We were carrying our take home after Church yesterday and laughing about this yesterday -- awwww, to be back in a Baptist Church [keeps our tummies full too/lots of pot lucks/great way to meet/fellowship])!!!!

No. 1     Reply: Re: You know you are Baptist, when...   
By:  RadioPreacherMan   Gender: M   Age: 59   on  May 9, 2017 at 6:10 AM     
A friend of mine is a Presbyterian. I asked him what the difference was between a Presbyterian and a Baptist.

He said, " We are like the Baptist, but we are afraid of the water. "
No. 2     Reply: Re: You know you are Baptist, when...   
By:  greendiamond   Gender: F   Age: 63   on  May 9, 2017 at 4:44 PM     
.....something, strickly Baptist, happening in my girlhood......


At the age of ten
i remember hearing a joke
told by a visiting minister
at the baptist church
my foster family attended

Each yr, during august
a wk of revival meetings
would require the presence
of every child to sit thru
the singing/preaching
that 'shook the rafters'
of our quaint, stone church

Though, the meetings were long
and the preaching caused us
to fear for our immortal souls
thankfully,
some comic relief was forthcoming

I remember the beaming minister
his generous cheeks,
flushed in the sweltering church
telling the joke,
before he launched into his soul-stirring message

Impressed with this bit of light entertainment
preceeding the hr of intense exhortation
that loomed ahead
i stored the joke
amongst what i deemed
important files in my mental vault

Later that week, i retrieved the file
and delighted to be 'in the muse'
i wrote the following poem.....

I felt, this piece warranted being preserved in posterity
lest, it be lost in the march of time

(NOTE: this poem is a retelling of the joke
i heard at the revival meeting)

This is the first poem i composed/remembered.....
.....there were others.....but not remembered.


The Roughest Man in Kentucky

In the Kentucky mountains are some pretty rough men
this story will show you I'm right
well, it happened some hunters were coonin' out there
and decided to camp out one nite

Well, they built up a fire, to fix them some grub
they fried up some bacon in a pan
they boiled them a pot of steamin' black coffee
and sit back to talk for a span

When, Lo and Behold!
a commotion commenced
with the rocks and brush a-flyin'
a big, brawny man come bargin' in
a-ridin a mountain lion!

Well, he grabbed up that coffee and gulped it down
as quick as a cow could Moo!
and before the campers could wink an eye
he'd ate the bacon too!

He said, "Sorry men, I can't stay awhile,
But lemme explain and you'll see,
I gotta be high-tailin' outta here
'Cause the roughest man in Kentucky's after me!"


Circa 1964..........GreenDiamond
No. 3     Reply: Re: You know you are Baptist, when...   
By:  greendiamond   Gender: F   Age: 63   on  May 9, 2017 at 8:25 PM     
.....your entire life view
can be neatly packed into something
that looks like the velvet box
your engagement ring came in.

.....of course,
this perspective, i formed
in response to my limited exposure
to this crowd......

though, i've tread lightly
with these 'good intentioned' people,
their 'box' appears to be very small.

.....just sayin'.....:coffeenpc:
No. 4     Reply: Re: You know you are Baptist, when...   
By:  CAsandie   Gender: F   Age: 103   on  May 30, 2017 at 11:08 PM     
GreenDiamond -- I love your writing (truly). You offer deep reflections rather than shallow. I am however unfamiliar with Baptists having revivals. I sure am glad you got some comic relief. Thank you for sharing this here as well as your artistry in writing (your gift). :hug:


RPM -- Please forgive me (I can be slow sometimes)...can you explain the joke (lol...I'm sorry)! Inquiring mind here! Do Presbyterians not Baptize?

Thanks!

mod. sorry for the delay in reply (I forgot I posted in humor. :-p).
No. 5     Reply: Re: Re: You know you are Baptist, when...   
By:  RadioPreacherMan   Gender: M   Age: 59   on  Jun 10, 2017 at 7:31 PM     
CAsandie wrote:

RPM -- Please forgive me (I can be slow sometimes)...can you explain the joke (lol...I'm sorry)! Inquiring mind here! Do Presbyterians not Baptize?

Thanks!



I have a friend who is a Presbyterian pastor. He told me ( jokingly ) that one difference between Baptists and Presbyterians is ...

Presbyterians are afraid of water.

What he meant was ... Presbyterians do not perform " immersion " baptisms. They " pour " the water over the person's head.

I had another guy tell me one time ( another Presbyterian ) that his pastor sprinkled, poured, and immersed.

I don't know much about what Presbyterians do with baptisms, but I was only sharing what my Presbyterian pastor friend told me one time.



No. 6     Reply: Re: You know you are Baptist, when...   
By:  CAsandie   Gender: F   Age: 103   on  Jun 13, 2017 at 12:46 PM     
Thank you for explaining, RPM! ... (it's interesting there are different methods of Baptism, when the word Baptize means to immerse as did Christ when John Baptized Christ [cut and paste: The word "Baptism" is a transliteration of the Greek word BAPTIZO which means to immerse. In Hebrew it is referred to as a MIKVEH - an immersion]).

Funny stuff -- understanding now. Thanks again for all of us who were unaware (or at least myself)!

No. 7     Reply: Re: Re: You know you are Baptist, when...   
By:  CAsandie   Gender: F   Age: 103   on  Jun 15, 2017 at 1:23 PM     
greendiamond wrote:

.....your entire life view
can be neatly packed into something
that looks like the velvet box
your engagement ring came in.

.....of course,
this perspective, i formed
in response to my limited exposure
to this crowd......

though, i've tread lightly
with these 'good intentioned' people,
their 'box' appears to be very small.

.....just sayin'.....:coffeenpc:


Re-reading this particular post that I didn't address and thanking you for your loyalty and friendship here.

Noticing you are gone, I just want to say I love and miss your posts and I hope you rejoin, my friend...even as I, myself too tread lightly and see small boxes sometimes too. :hug:

No. 8     Reply: Re: You know you are Baptist, when...   
By:  RadioPreacherMan   Gender: M   Age: 59   on  Jun 15, 2017 at 9:08 PM     
Praying for Greendiamond ... :pray: